Who said I'm lucky? When we talk about fortunes, it would cause an argument for sure coz it's obvious how unlucky I am in every aspects of life. There's no essence of saying these words for I know for a fact that there's something wrong with me that it would do no good in my way of thinking and my life perse. Pardon me but there's part of me wanting to burst out my emotions that I kept on resisting. Once I said that one most valuable thing I've learned here in NZ is becoming optimistic, seeing the bright side of life, and stay as happy as possible but what the heck I'm feeling right now giving me much headache and moment of vagueness just simply pissing me off. How much I tried to escape from my worries, myself won't do so. Every week different problems welcome me as my life becoming darker when it's used to be brighter.
As much as possible. I'm trying to live life as if everything is fine like getting lot of inspiration from things and PERSON but in the end of the day, what's the point? I can still feel empty inside. I'm worried for the future I guess. It's like I have nowhere to go, nothing to be proud of. Should I remain as is without anything to make me satisfied. I know it's wrong not to be satisfied of what God provided w/c for my best, still I can't help but to question, "Why me? What's wrong with me? Why do you have to put all that challenges onto my back?" Yes, God won't give you problems that you can't handle however, I'm too fragile these days..
People around me are lucky enough to get much of what they need and receive more than what they need. It's not I'm being too judgmental but facts will stay as facts. I don't want to weigh things up but how hypocrite I should be if I don't admit that I do so. Honestly I'm a giving person and as long as I get just enough of what I need, I will be alright. But sometimes, you come to think things over and by doing so you realized how bummer you might be from all the rest. It's not helping seriously, to learn that everyone's progressing and you will stay behind looking how far they've become. Jealously, maybe or a form of stupidity. I dunno. I wonder if my life has a meaning or am I just an accessory to this world full of mysteries. Some might say, God has a purpose for you or you're fortunate enough compared to other suffering individual.. Is that a bu*lsh*t? I don't mean to curse my life but I'm still trying to figure out who am i, WHERE DO I STAND?
Life is indeed unfair. Before it wasn't a big deal for me but in silence, you realized "wheww! it's not fair!"... In time, I hope that things will get better. It's not my intention really to discourage myself but for me to learn how to cope up and sort things up with my inner self. I'm not losing hope if so, otherwise I totally depressed and crying at the moment. I can do it!! I'm not losing hope.
As much as possible. I'm trying to live life as if everything is fine like getting lot of inspiration from things and PERSON but in the end of the day, what's the point? I can still feel empty inside. I'm worried for the future I guess. It's like I have nowhere to go, nothing to be proud of. Should I remain as is without anything to make me satisfied. I know it's wrong not to be satisfied of what God provided w/c for my best, still I can't help but to question, "Why me? What's wrong with me? Why do you have to put all that challenges onto my back?" Yes, God won't give you problems that you can't handle however, I'm too fragile these days..
People around me are lucky enough to get much of what they need and receive more than what they need. It's not I'm being too judgmental but facts will stay as facts. I don't want to weigh things up but how hypocrite I should be if I don't admit that I do so. Honestly I'm a giving person and as long as I get just enough of what I need, I will be alright. But sometimes, you come to think things over and by doing so you realized how bummer you might be from all the rest. It's not helping seriously, to learn that everyone's progressing and you will stay behind looking how far they've become. Jealously, maybe or a form of stupidity. I dunno. I wonder if my life has a meaning or am I just an accessory to this world full of mysteries. Some might say, God has a purpose for you or you're fortunate enough compared to other suffering individual.. Is that a bu*lsh*t? I don't mean to curse my life but I'm still trying to figure out who am i, WHERE DO I STAND?
Life is indeed unfair. Before it wasn't a big deal for me but in silence, you realized "wheww! it's not fair!"... In time, I hope that things will get better. It's not my intention really to discourage myself but for me to learn how to cope up and sort things up with my inner self. I'm not losing hope if so, otherwise I totally depressed and crying at the moment. I can do it!! I'm not losing hope.
2 comments:
nkakarelate ako ah. :)
gnyan din ako madalas. pero lagi ko nalang iniisip na maswerte pa din ako kesa sa iba. :) always look at the brightside po. :) tc.
always be optimistic than pessimistic :Dthanks one thing i could advice..
coz a positive attitude creates a positive result..
a negative attitude creates a negative result. :D
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